TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
