Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
