lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
