im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
