So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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