Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
