can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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