I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
