called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
