I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
people are starting to question the shark bite story
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
This is my gift to your gina
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
