My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
