***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
