I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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