you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
