so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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