hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
whose ass print is on the piano?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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