i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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