Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
