I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize