Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
