i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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