we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
