you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
