I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
