Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
