First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
