He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
