if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
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