Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
