I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
