So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
someone owes me an orgasm
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
