I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
