there's paper in my vomit.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
