Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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