I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
