I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize