There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
