I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
