So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
