they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
My ATM looks so different sober.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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