I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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