Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
