At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
