She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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