escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
