I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
