I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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