just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
