Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
