I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
