oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize