arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
not ubering you a puppy
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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