I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
