I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She told me I should be a condom model.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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