Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
