Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
