I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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