Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
