Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
